Countdown of Thankfulness

In no particular order...

*10- So thankful for the birth of our amazing and perfect little girl, Eliza! I cannot imagine life without her in my arms :)

*9- I'm thankful for 8 wonderful years of marriage. My, how time has flown by!

*8- I'm thankful for the time I get to spend daily with my fabulous kiddos. They bring me so much joy!

*7- I'm thankful that we got the carpets out of our bedrooms. It's amazing how something so simple can make such a big difference in my health.

*6- I'm thankful for our wonderful Christmas vacation!

*5- I'm thankful for my new sister in law, Kati! So excited she's in our family now :)

*4- I'm thankful for God's continual hand on our lives. I can't imagine my life without Him in it.

*3- I'm thankful we were able to start our garden. Simple thing, but it's wonderful to have.

*2- I'm thankful for my imagination. I love creating things and know that God has given me this for a reason.

*1- This one is going to remain blank. There are too many other things that I'm thankful for. Those are all listed here in my head :)

Happy New Year! Welcome 2012! I can't wait to see what's in store for this year.

Silent Tears

This post is not the normal light hearted post from me. This is me being real. I'm going to start off with a little back story that some of you know. Some of you don't though. In Oct 2007 (Luke was 8 months old) we were surprised to find out that we were expecting a second child. Maybe surprised isn't the best word. Shocked beyond belief describes it better. After several doctor's visits and ultrasounds we were told that our baby was no longer with us and that I would miscarry sometime in the days ahead. This was extremely hard news especially for me. To say we were sad just doesn't describe it. We lost something that we had only begun to love. It was HARD! There were a lot of tears. There were lots of questions to God asking why. There was deep sorrow for not being able to know our child.

We had a trip to Florida already planned and decided to still go knowing that I would probaby miscarry while we were there. We knew where the closest ER was and were as prepared as much as one can be. My family was with us on this trip and also knew what was going on. Even though all of this was on our minds and hearts we still had a wonderful time. We went to Disney parks, swam in the pool, showed Luke Mickey Mouse. It was fun. On Dec 17th I woke up and knew that today would mostly likely be the day that our baby would leave us forever. We were scheduled to go to Sea World that day and were really looking forward to it. I said that I still wanted to go so off we went. This picture was taken the morning of that day.


This picture has come to mean a lot to me. It makes me think of the child we lost. It makes me remember the sadness and pain I felt. It's hard to look at and at the same time I'm so thankful for it because it's one of the only ties I have to that baby. Yes, I miscarried that day.

Fast forward to this year. We now have 3 beautiful children and 1 that lives in heaven. We were given a wonderful gift to go back to Florida this December and to go once again to Disney and Sea World. We were all excited! I'll tell more of the trip in other posts. It was a GREAT vacation and one that I know our family will talk of for many years to come. The only thing is we were going back to the place where I had miscarried our second child. I knew it would be a hard day for me. I prepared myself for this as much as I could.

As we walked into Sea World we were greeted with the same tree as in the above picture. I gasped and quickly tried to right my emotions. Luke especially was SO excited to be there and to see the whales and dolphins. I wasn't going to ruin this day for him. I swallowed the tears and hugged Eliza close. We waited in line and took this picture together.

See how I'm holding Eliza? Tightly. My mind was on our lost baby. During the dolphin show (the place where I had miscarried) I kissed my babies and let one tear fall. I will always love our lost child. I will never forget him. But I'm also SO thankful for the 3 healthy, beautiful children that I have with me.

I know I'm not the only mother out there that has this pain and loss in her life. It's sadly not that uncommon. It's for this reason I share this post. It's ok to remember and to let a tear fall. But it's also so comforting to know that one day I will get to meet my baby. Thank you, Jesus for holding him tighly while I can't!

First foods

In true Eliza fashion, introduction to her first foods didn't go as planned. Both of the other kids were so excited to eat their first bite. They were curious, but liked it once it was in their mouths. After that first bite they took off and started eating more and more each time. Well, now it was Eliza's turn. We got the camera's ready and mixed her first bite of rice cereal and momma's milk. I carefully stuck the spoon to her lips and she made this face.


And then she started this.


And then this.


Sigh. It's been like this each time too. Because of this and "other" things we're thinking she doesn't tolerate rice cereal well. So we switched to oatmeal cereal. Same thing. Hmm... This doesn't look good...to be continued...

The last night

In just a few short hours my little Evelyn will turn 3 years old. I can't even believe that it's been 3 years since she came into this world screaming. I still remember her looking right into my eyes as soon as they laid her on my tummy and thinking how much I instantly loved that little girl. It feels like it was just yesterday. These 3 years have been packed full of love, laughter, tears, hugs, kisses and snuggling. She is my passionate little middle child with they prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen. She's my little dare devil who was climbing before she could even walk. There's no fear! She's my sweet baby who just wants to be held when she's upset. She's my pretty princess who loves shoes, purses and babies. She's my little helper who wants to do whatever I'm doing and will find a step stool in an instant so that she can. She's my Baby Do Dah. Happy Birthday, little girl! These last 3 years have been amazing. I can't wait to watch you grow this coming year!

It's getting easier

I took all three kids out to the store today by myself and as I was driving there realized that I no longer get panicky or have to plan hours in advance for us to go somewhere together. I now know that I'll be ok. True that sometimes they are all crying or whining. Sometimes it gets extremely hot in a store when Eliza is screaming for 10 minutes straight because she wants to go to sleep. Sometimes they just really don't listen and we have to just leave before I lose my patience in the middle of Target. Yes, it's not always perfect and I am by no means a super mom, but I know I can survive. That's a huge step for me! It's nice to feel like I can get out and am no longer confined to the house. I like this progress. Just wanted to share :)

Now here are some pics that I haven't shared.


And let's compare:

Happy Halloween!

From Peter Pan, Tinkie Bell and the Mermaid from the Mermaid Lagoon :)

They had a blast going to Trunk or Treat tonight. We got lots of candy, donuts, popcorn and went on a hay ride. Eliza even liked it! She just watched everyone. This is one of my favorite things to do as a family. The kids just love it and I love watching their faces and seeing their excitement. It's totally worth the hours of creating and sewing.

The first pic was taken when we came home and Eliza was beyond tired. Can you tell? ;)

Short and Sweet

I was about to leave for the store tonight by myself when Evelyn pipes up, "Can I come, Mommy?". I look at her and easily decide that this would be a great time to spend one on one time with her. She's been needing a little more love lately if you know what I mean. We jump in the car and she starts talking. She is really such a sweet child. She asked me questions and commented on what she saw. It was nice to be able to just talk with her and not have any interruptions.

We got to the store and she wanted to ride in the cart. We ended up finding some wings to go with her costume for Halloween. She was thrilled! We wandered around for a little bit looking at things and she talked the whole time. I could tell this time with just her and I was priceless for her. It was for me too. She's been frustrating lately in her almost 3 years old state. It hasn't been fun training her behavior or attitude the last few weeks. It was such a blessing to have this time to see that she is still my sweet little girl. She is just amazing!

Then to top off the trip when we walked outside to get back into the car it started to sprinkle. She said my favorite "Evelyn" thing. "Mommy, is it starting to drippy droppy?" I just smiled at her as I looked into her bright blue eyes. Yes, sweet girl it is starting to drippy droppy.

Eliza's 4 months old (yesterday)!

She's getting SO big. She's smiling all the time. She's trying to laugh though it does sound more like a raptor squawk. She rolled over today. She's sleeping well. She found her thumb! She's such a joy to have in our family! I really can't imagine life without her.

I'm looking forward to this next month as she continues to grow and learn new things. She only weighs 12.2 lbs, so she's still tiny and snuggly. But I'm looking forward to her interacting more. And she IS every day :)

Favorite Things

As I looked around my house this morning I came up with a blog post in my mind. I often do this and it never makes it actually on my blog. Well, not this time. Here is goes.

These are some of my favorite things (actual things, not people):

* This Etsy store has GREAT shampoo and conditioner. JD and I use it every day and love it! Natural, smells great and WORKS!

* This lotion/balm is great for dry skin, cuts, rashes, bites, burns. I could go on and on. We use it all the time and love it!

* This ring will be mine soon. I've been eyeing it for a while now.

* These wipes. So soft! We use them for the kids washclothes. They also make great baby doll blankets ;)

* These blankets and pillowcases are the softest around, hands down. If you don't own anything OBV you are missing out!

* This tea. It's perfect for nursing mommy's and it's yummy too!

* Yarn. I have many, many different kinds that I would love to own. I have many that I do own. I just love creating with it! This one is especially pretty to me. Sparkly! I also really like this one.

Ok, my favorites must end now as children are waking up. My quiet time has ended. Now back to my "mommy life" :)

A time to write...

I've been very cautious about what I write about Eliza on my blog and on Facebook. I know a lot of you have seen that we've had a lot of doctor's appointments for her. Many of you have stopped me to ask, "What's going on with Eliza?". Thank you for caring! I think it's time that I finally write about her and her journey.

Eliza was born a beautiful, screaming baby. She was perfect in every way. Instant love! The day after we brought her home from the hospital she started to get a red rash all over her body. Her eyes were a little swollen. Her legs were bright red. Hmm... we thought. I called the nurse hotline (it was the weekend) and the nurse suggested we take her to the ER to get looked at. After much deliberation we decided to wait it out and take her in on Monday instead. By Monday it seemed to be better so we decided to just call the doctor and see what she said. She told us that newborns often get a rash and not to worry. As the days went on we noticed that her swollen eyes were more normal and the redness seemed to be disappearing.

As the redness was disappearing it was starting to look like streaks. I, being a normal mom, looked it up online to see if I could figure out what was going on. I need to back up a little though and tell you about me. I was born with a genetic disorder called Incontinentia Pigmenti. It starts off as a rash/legions on the skin and can affect eyes, skin, hair, teeth and cause seizures. Well, I've never had problems with my eyes and never had seizures, but have had effects with all of the others. Fast forward. You know what I'm getting at, huh? Yup, Eliza's rash looked exactly what IP rash looks like. We took her in to the doctor hoping against hope that it was just a newborn rash though we both just knew that wasn't true.

The doctor looked at the rash and said that it definitely wasn't a newborn rash. She didn't know what it was. I then told her my past and she went to get another doctor in their practice who was more experienced. He came in and looked at her skin and said that he'd never seen an IP rash that developed in a baby so young. He thought we definitely needed to go to a geneticist and dermatologist. Both doctor's then went to get their huge medical book and looked up IP. They brought the pic of it in and said that Eliza's rash definitely looked like the picture. Deep breath!

Since that first appointment we've gone to many doctor's to make sure that Eliza is developing "normally". Her eyes have to be checked monthly. She had an EEG to check for seizures (though they don't normally start until 6 months of age). We've gone to a geneticist to get her officially diagnosed. We'll go to a dermatologist for her rash in a couple weeks. And of course the well baby check ups. It's been a lot of appointments and a lot of telling doctor's what IP is and what we need from them. It's pretty rare so most doctor's are interested in learning about it. We're all about educating them too so that hopefully we can help another family in the future. So far she's fine. Just a baby with a rash.

Now, after all of this "official" talk let me just show a little of my emotions. Just a little though ;) This has been hard for me. There I said it! It's hard to see your baby girl looked at differently because she has a rash all over her arms, legs, hands and feet. It's hard to have to explain it over and over so that people aren't afraid to touch her. It's hard to just wait and see what else can be effected. It's SO hard to know that I've given this to her and know that she's going to have to deal with it for the rest of her life. I know that God has a plan in all of this. I know that He's in control. I know that, but my human side says Why did you give this to her? Why couldn't it have just stopped with me? I'm sad for my little girl.

So, as I wrap up this post please know that Eliza is ok. She's not contagious. She's not in pain. She does need your prayers though as she goes through her life's journey. Prayers that her eyes continue to develop normally. Prayers that she will never have to endure a seizure. Prayers that her teeth aren't affected. Prayers that her rashes don't get infected.

And as a final note, please know that you can talk to me about this. I won't start crying all over you :) You can ask questions. I really don't mind a bit. I would love for more people to know about IP.

Wow! 3 Months Already?

That's right! Happy 3 Month day little girl!

Just trying to survive...

I'm still here. I have lots to blog about. I've taken lots of pics to share. Right now though I just need to survive the day. 3 kiddos is HARD! I will return soon though. Until then check out this little/big girl:

She's finally big enough to sit in her Bumbo Seat! YAY!

Smile!

I know these aren't the greatest pics ever, but look how cute she is smiling!!! She's been doing it for a little while now, but it's so hard to capture it with a camera. I must say that there's just something amazing seeing your baby smile for the first time. It doesn't matter how much she's screamed that day. It doesn't matter that she was awake the night before more than she was asleep. It doesn't matter that your arm is about to fall off because you've been holding her ALL day long. Nope. It doesn't matter one bit. Seeing a sweet little smile on her face makes it all worth it :)

Source

Wonder where I've been lately? *yawn* Wonder what we've been up to? Keep check this blog to see if there are any updates? Well, I'm here to say that we are still alive and kicking. We're just tired!

Newborns are exhausting! It's hard to get up several times every night. It's hard to play with 2 little ones while holding a screaming baby. It's hard to keep up the house, the lawn, the garden, the pool... the list could go on. I'm guessing you're catching my drift, huh? We're still here, but life is a little more challenging right now. Stay tuned though! We will get on a schedule. We will have 3 children that will sleep through the night. We will stop going to doctor's offices every week. WE WILL! Just not quite yet. In the meantime, if you're awake at 11:30pm, 2am, 4am or 7am please think of me. *sigh*

2,4 1/2, 8

What do those numbers mean you ask? Well, let me tell you! Today was an eventful day around the Garn household.

First up- Eliza turned 2 months old today!



She did NOT want her picture taken tonight. I think this is accurate for this month though. We've seen a lot of this face unfortunately. Our little girl has passion and knows how to use it :) She's discovered that if daddy's holding her and she wants mama she can scream hard enough to turn dark red/purple and mama will get her. sigh. I think the red hair is starting to shine through...

Next up- Luke! He turned 4 1/2 today!

He didn't really understand the whole 1/2 thing, but it's fun that it landed on today :)

And lastly- JD and I are celebrating our 8th anniversary!!! YAY! 8 wonderful, fun, changing, growing, maturing, adventurous, challenging, I could go on, years! I'm so thankful for him and for our marriage. I'm looking forward to the next 8 years together. Now, I must go rescue him from our screaming daughter (see above picture). :)

Need a Laugh?

Yup! She's playing the guitar and singing "The B I B L E". HA!

Sweet Slumber

Last night I decided to take pictures of my babies sleeping. They're so sweet and peaceful looking when they sleep. Just watching them erases all the craziness of the day. I forget how they've tested my patience. I forget how they've knowingly disobeyed what I've said hundreds of times over. I just see the sweetness! They're my babies, and I love them.

Eliza sleeping peacefully for at least 2 hours :)

Evelyn sleeping in the buff because she's always so hot ;)

Oh! Wait a minute! What are you doing on the floor? Silly Luke!

Garage sale finds!

We've been doing a new little tradition on Saturday morning's around here. We wake up, get the kids ready and hit some garage/yard sales. SO fun! We take turns getting out of the car with one of the kids and dig through other people's treasures that they no longer need. We've found quite a few gem's too!
Check this out:

Yup! That's right. A nice little bike trailer for the kids to ride in. And we got it for a 10th of its value. Wahoo! The kids went for their first bike ride today and had a great time though the pic doesn't really show that. They went all the way to the playground and got to play for a little bit before coming home.

We also have gotten LOTS of clothes for the kids, Pyrex dishes for me (I never did find that other one, Mom.), tools for JD, a sit and stand stroller and of course some toys. The kids love looking through things and asking to buy what they find. JD and I love saving money on things that we'd love to have but can't really afford to get right now. It's a win/win don't you think?

(And a side note: JD didn't really want me to take a pic of him in his helmet, but safety first! :)

She rolled over!

Only 5 weeks old and she rolled from her belly to her back! Now granted I think this was a fluke, but still! I was just amazed! Here's the story:

I put Eliza on her mat for some tummy time. She hasn't had much of this yet. Oops! I just forget about it. Anyway, she was NOT happy about this at all.

See? Not happy! She threw a fit to give an acurate description. She pulled her little arm to the other side. All the while screaming.
Then she started kicking her little leg. I saw this and thought "She's trying to get on her back. Keep trying little one. You're too tiny for that!" She proved me wrong!
This is just the beginning I'm afraid...

"How are you guys doing?"

We've been hearing this question often since Eliza was born. It's hard to know how to answer as each day is different and each moment can bring something new. I will say that Eliza showed the answer best by this picture:

That's right! We're tired. All of us. We're still adjusting to our new family and I'm still adjusting to only getting 2 hours of sleep (usually less) at a time. It's hard, but totally worth it! I mean, who wouldn't want to look into these eyes all hours of the day and night? Seriously!

Swim lessons

Yesterday was Luke and Evelyn's first swim lesson of the season. These lessons are very important to us because we want our kids to be able to swim to the side of the pool if they should ever fall in. Yeah, that's important! We all headed to the pool this afternoon with 2 excited kids. Eliza and I went for moral support. JD went because he had to get in with Evelyn.

Well, true to their nature Evelyn loved it. She had her daddy all to herself for an hour and got to play in the pool. Who wouldn't love that? They did lots of songs and rhymes to get the kids comfortable in the water. Fun!

Luke on the other hand didn't have such a great time. When we're swimming at home he wears water wings (see above pic). At swim lessons they can't wear them. Well, Luke thinking he had them on took a leap off the bottom step and went straight under. Scared him to death. Of course he was fine and they were right there to pull him up to his feet, but that didn't make a difference to him. He cried. And cried. And cried. They had him continue to do everything that the class was doing. All the while he wore a pathetic sad face and bawled. Poor boy. I've never wanted to jump over a fence and rescue him so badly in my life. It's a good thing that the gate won't let the parents through because I would have gone to him in an instant. Oh, and I must mention that he had goggles on so his ears were sticking out. That just added to the patheticness (did I make that word up?).

When lessons were FINALLY over and we could have our babies back I hugged him so hard. We talked about the lesson and what had happened. He just wanted his dog-dog and to go home, so we left. We talked about things when we got home. JD and I took turns taking him in our pool and doing the same things with him that he did at swim lessons. We told him about the rewards he would get if he tried it again and didn't cry. We prayed and prayed for him to make it through the next lesson.

Fast forward to today. He was a little anxious about going, but he went. When we were walking in the pool area one of his teachers greeted him by name and said how excited she was that he was there. That meant the world to him! He got it with a proud look on his face. I could just tell that he was determined to conquer this. And he did! No tears today. No sad puppy faces. Only smiles and splashes came from him. They even had him go off the diving board and he did it with joy. I'm SO proud of my little guy. It's so amazing to see him overcome a struggle and come away victorious. Yes, today was a great day!

Eliza Grace is One Month Old Today!

My sweet little Eliza turned one month old today. It's amazing to me how fast this month has gone. It seems like just yesterday we were headed to the hospital to meet her. Where has this month gone? But to be honest it's hard to remember life without her in our family too. Those days seem like cake walk to me now. I had so much free time with Luke and Evelyn. I could run out to the store whenever I needed to. Those days are past now and though I feel a little home bond at times and miss seeing friends I wouldn't trade it for anything.

She does love her brother and sister. She was just finished with pictures at this point.

She's such an amazing little girl. She likes to snuggle. She sleeps pretty well and has from the beginning. She's my baby! I'm so thankful for this month with her and look forward to many, many more :)

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo...

Is that song stuck in your head now? That's what I've been singing all day. We went to a zoo today and had a great day! I think all of us just needed to get out of the house and have some fun. We haven't been going many places since Eliza was born and that's just not like us at all. I'm proud to say that Eliza slept for most of the day. I guess she liked the zoo too!

Here are some pictures so that you can enjoy the zoo too. There aren't a lot. What a surprise, huh? If you know me at all you'll know that having any pictures is major for me. My brother and sister got that gene :)

Luke and Evelyn admiring the Lion. This one just looked at us. The male lion outside let us hear him roar the whole time we ate lunch. I'm not sure what that was about. Maybe he missed his girl ;)

Eliza and I looked on as Luke and Evelyn took their first camel ride. We had to talk them into it because they were a little nervous about how big the camel was. When we told them that daddy could go with them they decided they wanted to try it. They liked it too! Totally worth the outrageous price for 2 short minutes.

And sadly the only picture we got of Eliza the whole day. To be fair though she was in the sling for most of the day and hidden from the sun. Yeah, poor 3rd child!

I have more pictures, but I'll save those for later. Dinner is calling!